Temper Tantrums: How to Prepare, Respond, and Prevent

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Temper tantrums are a normal part of toddler development. As children begin to assert independence but don’t yet have the language or emotional skills to express themselves, frustration often comes out in big ways. While tantrums can be stressful, there are helpful strategies to manage them calmly and constructively.

WHY TANTRUMS HAPPEN

  • Tantrums usually peak between 18 months and 3 years of age and may include crying, screaming, kicking, or refusing to cooperate. Common triggers include:
  • Hunger or fatigue
  • Changes in routine
  • Frustration with communication
  • Being told “no"


HOW TO PREPARE

  • Stay ahead of triggers: Offer snacks, naps, and transitions before your child becomes overtired or overstimulated.
  • Give choices: Let your child choose between two acceptable options (“Do you want the blue cup or the green one?”).
  • Use routines: Predictability helps toddlers feel secure.
  • Name emotions: Help your child recognize feelings (“You’re mad because we had to leave the park”)


HOW TO RESPOND 

  • Stay calm: Your response sets the tone. Speak in a quiet, steady voice.
  • Keep them safe: Gently move your child if they could hurt themselves or others.
  • Don’t give in: Avoid reinforcing the behavior by changing your answer just to stop the tantrum.
  • Stay close: Some kids need space; others want comfort. Follow your child’s cues and offer reassurance once they calm down.
  • Debrief later: Once calm, talk briefly about what happened and suggest other ways to express feelings.


HOW TO PREVENT TANTRUMS 

  • Praise positive behavior: Acknowledge good listening and cooperation.
  • Teach emotional skills: Books, games, and role-playing can help kids learn to name and manage feelings.
  • Limit screen time: Too much can lead to mood swings and reduced self-regulation.
  • Model calm responses: Your own emotional regulation teaches more than words.


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